Friday 13 April 2007

So slow.

Some people are just SO SLOW. I wanted to clean up the drinks areas, because it was dutty and I needed to stock up the lids. I was standing there for what seemed like an hour (probably 30 seconds) watching a prune getting a drink, then waiting for the fizz/bubbles to go down, because they'd gone a bit crazy, and then stirring TANGO.

Oh and on the subject of drinks I also over heard someone go "No don't get me the full fat Pepsi - get the skimmed one if they have it". Ok..

Then I went outside to dump some rubbish and witnessed a Securitas van being robbed. Ok it wasn't being robbed but it did have an alarm and was shouting "HELP HELP - security vehicle under attack - please call the police!". The driver was just standing there going "No don't call the police, the computer has gone wrong so I'm just waiting for the battery to die". He was so concerned about the alarm that he went to McDonalds, bought a coffee and sat down.

One last thing - how should I respond when someone goes "How big is a 6 inch pizza?". It happens everyday and I need something witty that won't get complaints.
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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi,

One last thing - how should I respond when someone goes "How big is a 6 inch pizza?". It happens everyday and I need something witty that won't get complaints.

*Grins*

Well, I can think of a few choice words I'd like to use too, but as a suggestion, how about cutting out some circles in cardboard that match the pizza sizes? You could even make up some "slices" too.

Then when one of the unwashed masses asks you, you can bring over the cut-outs, and offer to "demonstrate" them on the plate. ;-)

Loads of ways you could be sarcastic with cut-outs without it appearing too obvious;

Hold 7 slices cut-outs against customer's stomach, saying "What do you think? Is the 7-slice 10 inch going to be too much?" etc.

;-)

You could come back with something like "I don't know, but I've always wondered why they call this place / company "Pizza Hut" or "I don't know, but I've always wondered if the Queen just pulls out a Pound coin for her ID when she's going through Airport security"

Enjoying the Blog by the way. Keep it up.

Regards

James UK

14/04/2007, 11:21
Anonymous said...

Just thought of something better...

Get a piece of elastic, stretch it out, and mark six divisions on it, labeling them "1, 2, 3..." etc.

When someone asks the obvious, whip out the elastic, stretch it out as much or as little as your mood demands, and point to the 6, saying "That big"...

;-)

14/04/2007, 11:24
Al said...

If you want to be a smart arse you could tell them that it's 12.56 square inches?

14/04/2007, 13:14
Arriva Driver said...

Yep, im going to apologise in advance.

If it's a guy, just say its double the size of what hes probably used to seeing.

If its a girl, say its big enough to fill her up.

Again, sorry, but I would have to play with the words!

14/04/2007, 20:57
Anonymous said...

How about plain & simple "About half a foot" ??

14/04/2007, 23:26
Anonymous said...

"Clue's in the title"

Or, "Now, think very, very carefully about what you just said..."

?

15/04/2007, 18:52
SingleGuy said...

"Ask your husband/boyfriend, then double whatever he tells you"

18/05/2007, 03:53
SkippyMom said...

I like the cut out and the elastic idea....or you could give them the metric conversion of six inches...you know "Oh it's X.X cm, kay?" and say it as sweet and smarmy as you can.

When I was a waitress we were invariably asked "How big is a 12 oz. prime rib" and I always responded [with an incredulous look] "Well more than half a lb., but not quite a lb." You would be shocked at how many people that actually appeased...and they never realized how stupid they sounded! hee....

20/05/2007, 11:25

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