Can't talk

Just thought I'd do a bit of specific post on how people say things when ordering:

Fruitshoot is so often called 'Fruit-shot'. Wrong
Tropicana is called 'Tropical Orange' or 'Tropinano'
Margherita I've heard so many of this. 'Margheriti' is very common.
Supreme 'Suuu-prem'
Feast called 'Fast' all the time. "Yeah can I have the Fast meal?" "We aim to be quite fast..."

Chavs

I don't like chavs one bit and no one else in the country does. Even the half chavs don't like the full chavs, because in general they just want to dress like them but not behave like them. Full chavs aim to fuck everyone elses life up. But anyway they make a reasonably good blog post.

Yeah so, I was about to serve one of this group, of about 7 chavs. They are mini-chavs, like about 14 or 15 years old, but they still smell and look horrid. Woah out of no where comes the manager "Don't serve these. They made a mess yesterday". (Apparently they poured ICF sauce on the little door, on the floor and on the counter, spat, and then put ice cream into the chilli. When confronted they claimed they had nothing to do with it.)

So off they went after I gave them a refund and received some abuse. Ok they've now moved on but still in that horrid gang that no one likes. Manager has already called security and they're watching them on CCTV. Then along come the troops and they do some stuff, look intimidating and talk on their radios whilst staring at the chavs. They start being nobs and sit on high chairs, shouting, swearing etc. They were then ejected. They left by giving us a hurl of abuse which included all the usual swear words, so unoriginal. Nice to know the £1500 rent and service charge a week does actually go towards something except the location.

And then came along this new herd of chavs! I asked one of them "Were you in earlier?" "NO - WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Was his answer. "Just wondering". Shame I couldn't think of something more witty. They then went on to waste some Pepsi and 7up (free, help-yourself refills) ,but they didn't make a mess so I don't care really. Even though they came back about 10 times for refills, doesn't matter because they can, and also - it makes up for all the others who don't. Apparently the drink rate per customer is 1.2. So on average, for every drink we sell, they will have 1.2 of a drink. I hope this makes sense.

Aww and then I had some deaf people in. I wasn't sure exactly how to handle them, because they were all deaf, but it was surprisingly easy. Was it wrong of me to upsell with them?! I wonder when my first blind person will come in, because we don't have a braille menu or anything...which apparently other stores do. I won't have any problem with reading the entire menu to them if they wish, because if I hold up the queue or lose customers then thats Pizza Hut's own fault for not providing the correct stuff.

----I wrote a little thing about how I was a bit mean to a child. It didn't seem very nice so I deleted it----

PS: Apparently some people don't know what FSR and HSR are. I find this odd. Full Service Restaurant and Home Service Restaurant (Delivery). These are official abbreviations which are virtually always used to describe Huts in Pizza Hut memos, publications etc.

PPS: I was told I did not describe the car I was given a lift in, in enough detail. Ok so exterior: covered in mud. One window wiper is up because it is broken. Indicators only work on one side. Interior: Covered in mud again. Everywhere. Smells of dog. Blankets, clothes, general stuff everywhere. I was wedged in the seat between some questionable bits of fabric, and a portable filing cabinet. What else..the clutch is knackered, it cuts out, the radio doesn't work without some special piece of card wedged in. It was an overload of things really, so I can't remember it all.

Pizza

I saw cookie monsters post and tried to put this in a comment, but it failed, so here it is.



Also...the mud was in the car - not her!!!

"The usual"

It was going to happen because I've worked there for about 5 months now, and I had someone say "I'll have my usual please...". No idea what the hell they are on about. Yeah, I recognise them but there is no way I can remember what you're going to have. Except for cap man, who I know what he wants because I have featured him on here, and he NEVER changes. Ever.

Oh and if the shutter is nearly all the way down, and you have to bend to get in, then no we "aren't still serving". Also, if you come in after we've closed, but the shutter is half down to get a refill, I don't mind. I do mind when I see you making a mess, and taking bloody ages. You took so long I had time to go to the back of the restaurant and start putting the shutter down even further to get you out the way.

The sweet chilli dip. Our store can't order it (and I think, but will check that it is infact a permanent item in FSR and HSR so I don't know why not..), and my sympathy didn't last for very long with people so I am back with the "No." answer. This is mainly because I had some more Chicken Selects with dip and felt like crap for the next two days.

I must also thank the lady who dropped me off to work the other day. She works with Mother, and they read this blog daily, and she demanded to be mentioned. Her is covered in mud, on the INSIDE. Enough said!!

Bless you

A man today said "Bless you" when I gave him some ketchup. He was well built and looked what I would describe as "tough". It was weird so it was worth a mention on here.

I then heard someone walk by and go to their friends "We won't go Pizza Hut now - we will go there as a LAST RESORT!". Is that a good thing that they trust us? Or derogatory. I'd go with the second.

When I told someone that they could have refills they replied with "Wow thats fantastic, I've just been to the gym and I'm EXTRA thirsty". I find her saying that quite ironic because she was already big, had some extra fries and kept coming back for Pepsi.

My cat

Well a lot of other people feature their cat, so here's mine hugging a cap and coat hanger. She was asleep, but her eye slightly opened because of the flash. Aww. I do not shop at Dorothy Perkins before you ask...it's Mothers. More Pizza Hut posts soon - honest!!

Cold pizza and pineapple

This is my 76th post, and you've already had 75 posts of drivel so here's another.

Many thanks to Sancho whos comment included Just wanted to say that I really love your blog and find it really amusing. This made me smile for about half an hour.

Well anyway I have just returned from what I would describe as a 'party-thing', and while there I ate some ham and pineapple pizza, cold. It was nice and I always thought I hated cold pizza.Oh and the sweet chilli thing again, within about 3 days I have maxed out on it, and now find the thought of having any pretty much disgusting so there goes my plan to ask the manager to buy some. I have also overdosed on 'HOT Salsa' and Doritos so hate these too. But a new love for pineapple has developed.

Sweet Chilli Again

Well I decided to try out this whole sweet chilli thing, so I went for a McDonalds after work. I had some Chicken Selects with Sweet Chilli dip. Hmm it was nice!!! But not cheap at £3.79 and that wasn't even a meal. I was told that I should blog about the price and express disgust regarding it, by the person who I call 'the taxi driver' (Hi Mum....she reads this everyday at work when she isn't visiting the vending machine).

I will now have more sympathy with customers who ask for it and go "No sorry..." with a sad face, rather than "NO" with a mardy face. I can now understand why when I offer crushed chilli as an alternative they are not amused.

Today was a bit of a weird one. Everyone wanted something we don't have. I had about 5 or 6 people ask for sweetcorn, whereas I sometimes won't get that even once a week. I do not have sympathy for these people as sweetcorn is one of least favourite foods, ever. Eww that people asked for tuna, prawns, fresh chillies. No we don't do these, please visit your local full service Pizza Hut restaurant for them. Also please don't kick up a stink and/or huff and puff because there is nothing I can do. Also, just because we don't do a plain pepperoni pizza (we can if you WAIT a whole 6 minutes) there is no need to go "WELL FUCK THAT".

I had two customers today in wheelchairs. I offered assistance, and hurrah they accepted. I did some waitering(!!!) regardless of the normal casual, fast-food thing we do. Is that wrong to treat them differently (but better) than others? I think they deserve it really because all the assistance and extra help they may receive is no substitute for having full mobility. I ensured that I was not patronising (because that is probably worse than not getting help at all).

I have also figured out, that because the traditional image of Pizza Hut is different to the format I work in but still Pizza Hut, we get treated with respect than other fast-food workers. I can't really prove it, but it just seems that customers in general expect you to have just a little bit of a intelligence. It is also noticeable sometimes that people are surprised you are willing to help them out.

Sweet Chilli

I have noticed a lot of people asking for sweet chilli. We do not have it. Why is there an obsession with this?

Also when I go into Marks and Spencer to purchase some stuff with my uniform and fleece on, I get asked EVERY SINGLE TIME where something is. The huge Pizza Hut logo on the front and back is not enough. It was a weird coincidence today though, as I was asked in there "Do you have sweet chilli sauce?". VERY STRANGE.

Is it the new thing after BBQ sauce or something??

I forgot some stuff

Well somethings have happened which I thought "Put that on the blog" but it has been very busy with the amount of people going crazy with shopping because it's half term, so I haven't been able to do my usual with writing it on a bit of receipt roll and stuffing it in my pocket.

One person sticks out though, I'm unsure why...

It was a peak hour (ie. lunch) and I was serving this woman. My god she was upset because she couldn't have a Supreme pizza on a kids meal, but I don't care because that is the way it is. She then started bitching about how there was a mess around the ICF but she hadn't even bought an ice cream. WTF is all that about? Yeah sorry love but it got like that about 2 minutes ago, and the manager who should be serving someone can clean it up has decided to go for a fag and a Red Bull.

Is it free?

A kid was determined to get something for free today because he came back on three seperate occasions asking if certain things were free. "Are the drinks free?" "No.". "Is the ice cream free when you buy a meal?" "No.". "Is coffee free with a meal?" "No."

A woman who when I tried to give her, her change did that very annoying thing of putting out her hand so flat and at an angle, all the change just drops on the counter.

Another employee gave out the wrong pizza to someone. It was swapped and for some reason I was given the 'evil eye' by the customer! I don't know why...

Thats about all of the customers I think, I was going round doing pretty much everything so wasn't dealing with them all the time.

Not cute

I don't know why a woman thought it was cute to virtually have a breakdown and chatter her jaw for AGES but her boyfriend certainly wasn't amused. It was one of the most ugly things I have seen for quite a while. She was pretty, but the action was terrible. My sincere apologies if this some kind of disorder, but she seemed to be doing it for attention.

Oh and then there was the Italian man with his son. Picture this. A very short man, scuffy, with a flat cap, hunched over, in a huge army jacket, walking at approximately a metre a fortnight. Then picture the scene with slurred English words. This man is one the friendliest people I have met while working at Pizza Hut, I have served him before and he has impeccable manners. He is not drunk, I don't think because he does not smell at all, I think he is just a bit 'slow'. I don't say he is one the nicest men simply out of sympathy and because in general people say they like people who are a bit different 'because it is the right thing to do' but because he is great.
Anyway I enjoy serving him, and he bought his 'son' along. He said he was his son, but he showed none of the great qualities his father shows. The son is around 20 years of age, has hair down to his waist which is mousy and curly. His face is blank. Literally there is nothing. His dad would ask him something, and he would just stare. He also wore a full length black leather coat with many things hanging of it. I would describe him as a goth.

Umm I just realised there isn't really a punch line to this, and without seeing them for yourselves I doubt you can understand it fully. Anyway the above might be useful for later posts, I don't know.

Oh and finally, there was a girl who I estimate was age...12 to 14 who used a credit card with a name of someone who was a MRS. A bit suspicious I thought, but anyway she entered her pin correctly and in doing so went to extreme lengths to gain privacy when inputting it. This isn't a problem, but just seemed very mature for a girl who I thought was around 12. Maybe she was the MRS, I don't know, but she got the pin right and paid for her pizza so it doesn't matter really.

PS: I have removed Supermarket Follies and Retail Record from the blogroll, because they don't seem active anymore which is a shame because they were a good read. I have added Customers Suck, which is a constantly updated site with people moaning about customers - great!

Ouch

Please do not be offended when I filter through the handful of change you have told me is "£3.99 exactly". I then discover a €1 in place of a £1 coin and various 1 cents. No we do not accept them, so don't try - I could see that look in your eye, it was intentional and not "Oh I am so sorry, my mistake!"

Then there was this woman who decided to eat most her pizza, then come back and complain it was undercooked. Ok it was, I could see that, but for some odd reason the manager didn't....and he started eating it to see if she was right. The sight of a man tearing apart a pizza in front of a customer, was very funny, so yes, unfortunately I did laugh in front of them. The laugh was quite discreet, I hope, because I did a kind of 'burst-puke-laugh' and then went on the floor to stock the fridges. Anyway they got a refund, so never mind about that.

It was closing time, so I was clearing out the fries from the fry station. I leant over, and caught my chin on the very hot metal bit. It felt pretty nasty like it had burnt, so I went and stood awkwardly over the sink with my chin under the tap. I got up from this position after a few seconds, and bashed my head on the D2 dispenser, it then felt like I was about to fall over, and bloody hell there was the mop on the floor to trip me up, and I ended up leaning on the make table and will some vulgar words emitting from my mouth. To date this is my worst accident. The chin wasn't burnt thank god because it would look very stupid if it was.

There was a couple of freaks in, but these will be in a post soon with another couple of oddies.

Bird flu

Incase you were worried, Pizza Hut products are not affected by the bird flu at Bernard Matthews in Suffolk. I did take a picture of the memo which was sent, but on viewing it now discovered there is a huge shadow from my hand. This is why I don't post pictures very often because I am terrible at photography. I was going to steal the notice but apparently "Other people need to know" - how rude of them!

Anyway I will transcribe (is that the word) some parts of the memo.

"In light of the outbreak of Avian Influenza at the Bernard Matthews turkey farm in Suffolk, it is important that you can confidently answer any concerns that our customer may have. Nothing is more imporant at Pizza Hut (UK) Ltd than the health and safety of our employees and customers, and we place the highest priority on providing wholesome and high quality products

We buy poultry from the most reputable suppliers and we do not buy poultry from any areas that are affected by avian influenza (including Bernard Matthews)."

It then goes on about how Pizza Hut does regular inspections etc etc and ends with

"You can therefore confidently inform our customers that our poultry products are safe to eat."

Ahh so at least you can come to Pizza Hut and enjoy some chicken because our Risks and Standards Manager says so. I took his word for it and had some chicken wings (which I vowed never to) and they were bloody lovely!

Ice cream and Tesco

I was serving a lady, and instead of fries she wanted ice cream. It's not possible unless either, I know you or you are VERY friendly. I don't care if you scream/shout/swear etc, because that behaviour is quite funny and would encourage it because it makes this blog more interesting. So anyway I tell her that "Sorry we can't do that..." "WHY NOT?!" "Because you can only have fries or salad with the meal..." "Well that is a bit stupid really - it is not as if anyone is going to know is it!!!" "It will make the reports at the end of the night wrong, so yes they would" (It wouldn't, but it sounds better like that). She then told me it was "Absolutely ridiculous" Then her son of approximately 12 years old said "Mum, he doesn't make the rules so don't blame him!". What a lovely child.

You wouldn't go to McDonalds and expect a McFlurry instead of your fries, and just because you help yourself to our ice cream (after you've paid for it!) doesn't mean it is a free-for-all-any-meal-combination-you-want.

Another retail blog, Don't Blame Me! I'm Just A Sales Assistant! Tescos: Every Little Drives You Mad. has been created. I feel the title is self explanatory so will not elaborate! I have added it to the Blog Roll. I'm thinking about removing Supermarket Follies because the blog seems dead, which is a real shame because the writing quality was excellent. If you're out there...please comment or message!

Have I been found???

Something very strange happened today, with a 'regular' customer, who has been mentioned on this blog before. They look like the type of person who would read a blog, and their behaviour and what they said was very weird, so I think maybe they want to see if they got a mention?!! It's very unlikely but I will leave him alone for today.

A pretty normal day, everyone has got paid after Christmas so we are a lot busier now in comparison to last week. I was feeling a bit glum at one point, but the next customer I got was so nice. For some reason him just saying "Thanks for that, see you again mate" with a smile and mini wave made me smile, and cheered me up for the rest of the shift.

On the newsletter/magazine subject again. I looked through it, and there is a basically a big advert for Micros which the EPOS equipment and software we use, blabbering on about how it has helped a Hut. Yeah, we couldn't manage without it, but it is far from perfect and don't they think they've paid them enough already without giving them a free advert? An example of the problems it has. Till breaks down, ring them up. "Yeah it is isn't our fault but we will send someone anyway (because we're sooo good to you??!)" About a week later, they come. 10 minutes later, the till is left in pieces and the engineer is gone. Example 2: Manager calls them because an order will not budge off the system. "Well you need to reset all the terminals and server before we can log in" "You've logged in before and deleted the orders...can you not do that?" "No" "Well I can't turn them all off...we're in a peak hour here..!" "Well we can't do anything until you do". Morons.

Ha, you're brown now.

Well a lady came up and ordered some stuff, and I upsold as usual, I told her if she wanted this particular item it would be 6 minutes. "I can't be bothered with that, last time I did that I was waiting 20 minutes because no one bothered to bring it out". Whoops, I remembered her face now - it was me who made that little error. My response to that was "Right".

A moron snapped off the Tango pod thing because they were pushing it, rather than the little lever underneath. An attractive piece of blue tape has fixed it for now.

A lot of people asked for application forms today, and ugh they were all manky freaks - but they got the forms anyway - oh well!

Someone was trying to be cool/casual with the drinks machine, which in itself is not cool. This meant leaning on the side, not looking where they are putting their cup. In turn, his arm caught all 5 levers, so he had a nice brown patch on his shirt afterwards. It would not be appropriate to laugh at him on the front, so instead I went in the back and told everyone to come and take a look.

There were the usual idiots including a man talking on his mobile phone and frowning at me when I ask if he wants any sauce - mobile phones are not a good thing when paying for something. I had this myself in Argos the other day, a man just on his phone for AGES (over 7 minutes anyway), and the poor lady on the till couldn't do anyone elses order because he had ordered an item, but was now arranging delivery, so she couldn't get off the screen.